I believe prevention is always better than a cure and while I also believe it’s never too late to make a positive change in your life, the earlier the easier people. While it is extremely admirable to always put your children first, you don’t want to lose your own identity in the process which can easily happen when you let your own interests dwindle away to nothing, you take yourself out of the equation and end up resenting your partner and children for it.
In Trinny & Susannah’s, What Your Clothes Say About You: How to Look Different, Act Different and Feel Different they have some great tips to help mums dig out their old selves and re-invent her for who they are today, find time to be and feel part of a gang of girlfriends, a genuinely alluring tribute to her husband and a goddess to her kids.
And where do they get you to start, well given who they are naturally it’s in the wardrobe. This isn’t as silly or shallow as it might seem, they are completely right bang on target when they talk about the connection between the way you look, act and feel plus in this particular instance it also seems about making things easier and more convenient too.
Step one is all about creating a go to uniform of three simple key pieces, a few inexpensive fitted t-shirts with a design on it that works for your body shape in a colour that suits, a pair of stylish, well cut dark denim flattering classic jeans and a waisted three quarter length patterned coat/jacket. Team with these four practical accessories: a pair of converse trainers, a great belt, a roomy leather bag and a set of bangles. Add a concealer, highlighter pen, blush and lip gloss that you can chuck into your bag for lunchtime & afternoon touch-ups. (Choose mini products with built in applicators or designed to be applied with your finger and while you’re at it downsize everything else in your handbag too, it just makes life so much easier)
Then get some aromatherapy roll-ons to keep in your bag to help de-stress , lavender & camomile for stress, tension & headaches; frankincense, orange & juniper for relaxation and Manuka tea tree for minor bumps, scrapes and spots. Apply to wrists, close eyes and breathe deeply from the abdomen for a couple of minutes and repeat the following mantra “I am the best that I can be right now”. Always keep a few baby wet wipes in a zip lock bag at the ready (home, car, bag, etc.) there are a myriad of minor disasters that can be rectified with these simple things.
Make getting a good night’s sleep a priority for the whole household, you included. Start saving time by combining exercise and playing with the kids’. Not only does doing regular activities like walks, bike riding, skipping and hula hooping with your kids strengthen your relation but can also be a good enough workout to save you a trip to the gym. You’ll feel great and they’ll love you for it, win, win.
Use the resources available to you. You are not perfect and nobody expects you to be. Allow others to help out and make their own mistakes along the way. Teach, and then trust them to do things for themselves and you, whether it’s a family member or friend to babysit or your kids to make their own beds & lunches teaching them to do things for themselves can become an immense source of personal pride as well as relieving some of the pressure of you.
Go out with your friends and let your hair down at least once a fortnight. Allow hubby to look after his children, he is capable of keeping them alive for a few hours. Shake out the ponytail, get dressed up and get yourself out of the house. Add a tinted moisturiser, a natural rose lip stain and black mascara to your makeup collection for a more polished look. Keep your hair simple, shiny and sleek, on holiday you can get away with one fabulous silk flower in your hair. For an evening out or a wedding, try a dramatic jewelled slide or a gorgeous feathered comb. Otherwise avoid all hair accessories.
- In Caroline Jones Book The Desperate Housewife’s Guide to Life and Love: Essential Survival Strategies for Enjoying Your Family, Career, Friends and Sex Life, she recommends two different outfit options for looking sexy without looking like a porn star when your out with the girls.
- Option 1: Going to a Bar
- A pretty sparkly top
- High Heels
- Option 2: Going to a Club
- A Slinky not too short dress.
Make time for your partner as well. Commit to a weekly date night. You two need time alone together to keep your romance alive and romance needs intimacy and shared experience to survive. For a night time look add a wax lip line filler, matt red lipstick and matching pencil, you’ll also need a lipstick brush for a professional looking application. Get fitted for a bra with uplift and support for these special occasion evenings.
Learn to investment dress by visiting some great designer stores for inspiration and start a collection of quality shoes; keep them beautiful with shoe trees, in their boxes with a Polaroid stuck on the outside for easy identification.
Write a list of your wildest dreams; choose something from the list to take one step towards making a reality every weekday. Check out some adult education institutes and go back to school to develop some new skills.
Overhaul the whole interior of your bedroom to create a boudoir that is seductive and grown up. Rich colours and fabrics are a wonderful setting for night-time encounters.